I didn’t know how to approach this. I didn’t feel it was my place to post anything on my blog about it. Much like when JMH passed away, I hoped that Jim would do something. Post a fitting and heartfelt tribute to a much loved and respected member of the Simple Minds family. For it is a family. It’s fraught with the same tensions, the same kinds of cliques and camaraderie between people but there is the broader shared element that brings us all together – a love for Simple Minds.
Of course, those who visit my blog regularly know the way the past 12 months have been going with my own fandom and my attempts to try and express what the hell is happening without ever really feeling like I am explaining it properly. The thousands of core fans that are active on the band’s social media platforms can at times feel somewhat more “entrenched” in it all than I currently do. I feel much less part of it all these days.
With that said, it was earlier this year that I only truly started to get to know Lore. I’m at pains to say that a lot of it, on my part, stemmed from an envy of the closeness I could see she had with Jim. Certainly initially it was how it was for me. It was a ridiculous thing on my part. I used to crave that “mutual” thing. How could I ever expect someone to be ‘into’ me as much as I was ‘into’ them when – I’m simply not worthy? It’s just how it is. I piqued an interest at some point but much like the vast majority of fans, the interest soon wanes, and that’s fair enough. You can’t be everyone’s friend, right? We can’t all belong to that esoteric circle. That ‘glittering prize.’
So, it was that element that, for a long time, stymied the closeness that I was now beginning to forge with Lore – at least on my part. Again, I felt as if I wasn’t worthy of Lore’s friendship, so I kept a distance. By these latter days of my fandom I just distanced myself from it all.
She reached out to me in June this year and offered me a ticket for one of the Rome shows. It was a very kind offer but there was no way I could take her up on it. I just don’t have that kind of financial backing any more – and besides, I was working on the book (nothing changes there!) and couldn’t afford the time away, let alone the finances. I ended my reply to Lore with the wish that we would get to meet at a gig in the near future.
We started exchanging messages again very recently and I can only hope that our exchanges brought a smile to her face as we were sharing in some exasperating ‘grumpy women’ pet peeves.
Hearing of Lore’s passing yesterday sent me in a spiral. As always (at least when not concentrating on uni studies) I was working on the book and was just taking a short break when I saw Jean-Pierre’s post. It was the second, harder punch – as earlier I had called Bruce Findlay in the hope of speaking to him for some clarification on some info for the book when he had informed me he was ill and wasn’t able to talk. I only knew so because I had cut off my call before the phone answered and Bruce, bless him, called me back.
I was already feeling churned up from disturbing Bruce and having his health on my mind, and then to see Jean-Pierre’s post – I fell apart.
The best words that remain for this post in relation to Lore I will leave to Jim.
Rest In Peace, Annelore Brantegem.
