April 12th.
That was the last time.
I count the days.
Jalopy.
I really, really hope so. Recorded last night but only posting now this morning.
Maybe setting limitations would work to do it? Having a set amount of time in the day? Some of these things I have tried before. Let’s doit again and see. But we’ll implement some different things this time. Anyway, ideas are worth sharing too…hence this post.
Click the image to see a video from BBC Ideas (in collaboration with the Open University).
There are probably more beautiful cemeteries – but I love Sighthill. I’d be more than happy to be buried there. But…who knows what will happen to my shell when I’m gone? There won’t even be anyone around to care so it hardly matters.
Throw me in the Clyde. Who cares.
Anyway…it’s beautiful. See for yourself below…
Conflict.
Eternal conflict.
Endlessly grappling with my own demons.
My own thoughts.
Internal schism.
There’s a good word!
I miss words.
I miss the feeling of conversation.
I miss feeling I was “on a level”.
You made it feel tangible.
You made yourself feel tangible.
“It.”
What is “it”, exactly?
I miss writing.
I miss words.
I miss you.
I miss the things I thought I had.
Convinced myself I had.
It was never much.
But it was my wee world.
I miss.
I hate the word “miss”.
Miss: verb (1) fail to hit, reach, or come into contact with (something aimed at). (2) fail to notice, hear, understand.
Every morning it starts. Sitting here with my own thoughts.
“God, I miss him. I really, really miss him! How long has it been now since ‘jalopy’? Let me see…Jalopy was early April…the 3rd, I think. It’s nearly September FFS! *counts on fingers* FIVE MONTHS!! Jesus Christ! He must really hate me! What have I done to piss him off so much?! Why won’t he talk to me? What can I do to fix it? And if by some miracle he ISN’T pissed off with me, can he just give me a sign, please? SOMETHING! Throw me a bone. I miss him.”
Cries like an idiot. “You stupid fucking menopausal bitch. Let it go.”
Repeat. Seven days a week.
Yeah, just going to call these video uploads this now. Lol.
Enjoy. By the way – previous week’s walking was about 30km – so with another 10km before the end of this week I should get around the same amount in.