A beauty. And a good thing.
A beauty. And a good thing.
Tonight I have been mostly playing with this…
You can never have too much of a good thing, right?
I do sometimes think that maybe I need to seek help…or I should just go back obsessing about birds.
Blackbirds, eh? Phwoar! Lol – Don’t start me off on the tits!
I just wanted to try something different…but with the same subject matter I fall back on.
In times of…descending melancholia, just…working on art around this beautiful face gives me focus, purpose. He’s my “human fidget spinner”, if I can be so crude? (I can. And now my mind is wildly wandering…GALLOPING…off elsewhere).
His sharing of the art from Cheryl Anne Grace a day or so ago. Of the NOLA “saints”? I mean, I’m obviously no Cheryl Anne…but I certainly have my own figurehead. My own deity.
I will forever regret saying what I said to him back in July. Because, coming from me, it was hypocrisy of the highest order. I portray him and treat him like a god in my art.
He is the centre of my artistic universe (and not just my artistic one).
I played around with this one for four hours. Am I pleased with it? Dunno…jury’s out. Did it put a stop to the descent into melancholy? Insomuch as it took the focus away from it for a while – Yes.
Sometimes I can attack a piece with sheer enthusiasm and delight, and it may come together in an hour. Other times, it is genuine therapy. I lose myself in it.
It used to be birds. But birds can only achieve that in daylight hours. This can happen any time of the day. And can start when high or low in mood.
But…am I an artist? I genuinely don’t know. A blagger? Most likely…
Every time I get a “new” previously unseen pic of Jim, I always gotta have a play around. This one is no exception…
Sometimes it comes really easy and after just a short play…something develops, takes shape and is there before I know it.
Other times (like tonight)…I build layer upon layer upon layer…add things, remove things, change things. Get a sense of what I want, but lose perspective trying to find it. That…nothing ever is quite right.
As a result…with this one I am really not sure. I knew what I was after, but still don’t think I’ve quite achieved it. I’ve been trying for about three hours though…and I could have kept going for three hours more…but frustration was kicking in. Which it usually does. I find it soothing and relaxing to begin with…and if it’s flowing right and going in the right direction..it continues to feel that way. But when it ISN’T moving along how I want it to…I begin to lose focus and it becomes aggravating, and I just have to come to a stop.
But, I feel I need to complete something. Produce a final “product”, even when unhappy with it.
The good days and the bad days…
(PS: The rest of that wording can be open to interpretation. When I first chose the wording, I was thinking of Jim himself and so, for me, it ended with “IS gold”. But then having written out this post, and the frustrations of it not always gelling when doing my arty farty bits, that changed to “is NOT ALWAYS gold”. Take your pick…)