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Flipping The ‘V’ To The (Monkey Wanking) Fans

Posted on June 6, 2026June 6, 2026 By Priptona No Comments on Flipping The ‘V’ To The (Monkey Wanking) Fans

It’s been a lovely first week away from not any longer stressing about uni studies and just being able to get out of bed when I want and CHILL. At this time of year I struggle to sleep well. Not because the weather is warm – fat chance in Glasgow! It’s because the days are loooong. Today, for example, the sun rose at 04:35 and will be setting at 21:56 – and we’re not quite at the solstice! Twilight “begins” earlier and “ends” later than those times state, of course. The dawn is already coming through around an hour beforehand, and the sunset lingers until after 11pm. And on sunny warm days the twilight can feel perpetual. Despite this, during mid-week I had two fantastically peaceful nights of sleep. They really are rare in the spring and summer months – esp. between May through to July. 

I have been reading for pleasure too. That has been wonderful. Not having to really deep read a novel has been great. With that said, I have noticed that I am paying more attention to things as I read than I would have done before university studies so perhaps I HAVE indeed become a “close reading” aficionado? It won’t do me any harm, that’s for sure!

The first “reading the pleasure” novel I am consuming is A Rainbow in the Basement by Ian Donaldson – yes, THAT Ian Donaldson – Mr H2O. And despite early reservations after having read the first 30 pages, I can now confirm I am thoroughly enjoying it. Considering I have just come away from reading fairy tales and other ‘fantastical’ themed novels and I was glad to see the back of them, the fact that I am enjoying the theme of Ian’s novel is surprising to me. 

Other novels on the immediate ‘to be read’ list are two science/speculative fiction novels, borrowed from the library (I also borrowed Ian’s novel from the library too – but will now invest in my own copy – and perhaps get him to sign it for me at a future dining experience) – Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy and The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson. 

Yesterday was the first shopping expedition I had taken since …. maybe post-Christmas … but more likely before uni started last year. It was a trip to Braehead. I’ve not been to Braehead in YEARS. At least 3 or 4, maybe even longer. It’s been a good while at any rate. The Other Half and I went through all the logistics of it the day before, trying to come up with a way of getting there that wouldn’t mean spending over an hour on a bus (or buses). Finally we decided upon a train to Queen Street and then the X7 service to Braehead, which once it leaves Glasgow city centre travels the M8 straight to Braehead. We’d be there in 20 minutes from the city centre. 

When we arrived at Braehead of course I needed ‘the facilities’ – you know … women of a certain age, blah blah. After I was done and rejoined the OH, who the heck did I see walking towards us? None other than one Michael Joseph MacNeil. What are the bloody chances?! We chatted for a few mins and it was all quite marvellous. From there it was a loooong stroll around Ikea and then to the only decent Sainsbury’s that Glasgow has. 

Before heading off for Braehead, I had been on Facebook. Now and again I look to see what is going on at SMHQ, trying to kid myself that I am still vaguely interested as to what’s going on at JK’n’CB Towers. A new album is in the bag, seemingly. But yesterday there was a teaser clip with a big green ‘V’ emblazoned on it. A ‘V’? What the Dickens? What’s that meant to be symbolising? I looked at the comments to see what the fans were saying. I wanted to see what they were making of it. The first one I saw had the same thought as me – if it’s meant to be Roman numerals – then the Roman numeral for 50 is ‘L’ – why a ‘V’? That’s 5! Five decades was the general consensus but the only problem with that is they’ve been going for SIX decades – the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, 2000s, 2010s, 2020s – that’s how decades are counted. They began in the 1970s and it’s now the 2020s – that’s six decades guys…

And before you reply to me, yes, it was pointed out to me that: 1977-1987 (1), 1987-1997 (2), 1997-2007 (3), 2007-2017 (4), 2017-2027 (5) = five decades. But – IT ISN’T HOW WE COUNT DECADES. And a ‘V’ is still a ‘V’ – it’s still only FIVE and not FIFTY. And I can’t make a ‘V’ represent five decades in my head. But at the end of the day what do I care? I can’t help but see it as JK/CB Plc giving the ‘V’ to their fans. Lol. Well, right back atcha guys. Right back atcha! 

Speaking of things that defy explanation, Ms Hynde has been on another rant at fans who don’t conform to her ideals of what fans should be and how they should behave and conduct themselves. It started with a wonderful case of name-dropping (I know! Who I am to talk, given what I mentioned earlier.) and her discussing her ‘ladies who lunch’ catch-up with Emmy Lou Harris before Ms Harris’s show at the Albert Hall that evening. At the gig Hynde found herself stuck behind someone filming Harris’s show. Boo hoo! ‘Why don’t people live in the moment?’, she moaned. Oooh, I dunno. Perhaps for the same reasons why SOME people don’t seem to be able to stop fucking moaning about shit and can’t see that time has moved on since the days without Smartphones and people want a memento of something they may never get to experience again – unlike SOME privileged asshats! 

Now, don’t get me wrong – I do appreciate where Hynde is coming from. But surely if her view was being obstructed by a PHONE then she’s either get a head that’s way smaller than I imagined (fucking UNLIKELY) or she can’t move it very freely. I have NEVER had my view obscured by a phone. What the fuck? Have I been distracted by phones? Yes. Am I perplexed as to why someone would want to spend a whole entire gig with their sight blighted by them recording on a phone? Yes! Do I really care? No. It’s their sad choice and their loss. Do I begrudge people recording stuff? No! Nobody should. Again, it’s the artist’s choice if they want that completely blocked. I respect that decision. What Hynde went on to say was to liken people recording at gigs to monkeys wanking at zoo patrons. Well in that case then people recording with their phones at gigs is quite a natural thing, much like monkeys wanking at zoo patrons. She always has to bring it down to some crass and stupid analogy. When I read this comment I couldn’t help but think of the old adage “it takes one to know one” – aka a wanking monkey. 

The phones at gigs are the LEAST of the problem. The fans that deserve shit are the ones that disrespect the artists (and fellow fans) WAAAAY more by having a fucking conversation during a set! Not between sets, not before the show begins, not after the show has ended BUT DURING – at the top of their lungs, so they can hear each other, obviously. If you want to make a complaint, Hynde – HOW ABOUT THAT?! How about THAT be your ‘Message of Love’, eh? Give me strength! 

Anyway, that’s me done talking about ‘V’s and wanking monkeys. I’m off to read a book about rainbows. 

Tara!

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charlie burchill, fans, gigs, glasgow, jim kerr, mick macneil, music, personal, scotland, simple minds Tags:2027, braehead shopping centre, brief encounters, chance meetings, charlie burchill, chrissie hynde, emmy lou harris, fans, five decades, glasgow, jim kerr, mick macneil, recording videos on phones, roman numerals, royal albert hall, she can't stop moaning, she's so rock and roll, simple minds, six decades, tour teaser, v, video, wanking monkeys

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