I made sure that I was tuned in and ready for Billy’s show last night, anticipating the middle hour of the show which would be the airing of the documentary of Simple Minds tour of Australia last month.
Just prior to that, I managed to rub Billy up the wrong way. He played a track by Magazine from their album The Correct Use of Soap. It has been an observation of mine that Billy tends to play tracks from either that album or the band’s debut, Real Life and that tracks from Secondhand Daylight barely get a look in. Perhaps it was the way in which I worded it, I don’t know. But he read it out on the air and responded with “are you ever happy?” Initially I giggled and then my face went scarlet. A mix of regret, shame, embarrassment and well….emotional upset. The thing is, as I was compiling my comment while listening to the song, I couldn’t help but love the sweet irony that he was playing “Because You’re Frightened” and thinking about all the anxiety I have manifesting within me about next Saturday’s gig in Manchester.
Afterwards I’m in a haze thinking – well, yeah. Perhaps I am never happy because that’s how my mental health sabotages things for me. Outwardly I must look like I complain about EVERYTHING – it would seem. So….what’s the difference between making an observation and being a complaining ninny?
Why does it feel like everything to do with Simple Minds these days is being sullied somehow?
Am I ALWAYS complaining? Am I “ever happy?” I never felt that I was ever negative towards Billy or the show. Yes, I aired a mild disappointment at the show from Oz only in relation to it feeling like a missed opportunity to give some current Oz talent (or more obscure past talent) a plug. Was that a negative observation? I thought I was still very positive about the show. I have always been positive about Billy’s shows – at least I thought I had been. One retort like that makes me question everything. That’s how mental illness screws you up!
Again, last night was a fantastic show. Even though I had posted the comment about being able to hear tracks from Secondhand Daylight, I was loving the delicious irony of “Because You’re Frightened” being played just a short while before diving into the SM documentary and with the Manchester gig being just one week away (as of the time of show airing).
So, another string to add to my bow of things that I do/say/be/am is – unhappy, dissatisfied, moaning, complainer. Yay!! I’ll get my badge for that one ASAP.
Anyway! Never mind, eh? You can’t please everyone and you can’t have everyone like you. There’s another delicious irony – being a people-pleaser that seems to please no one. Lol. Yes…it just keeps getting better!
I want to say that it was great to hear from Ross Stapleton and to hear his own side of how the whole signing to Virgin came to be. It was a joy to listen to him still bubbling with enthusiasm for them some 40+ years down the road.
I won’t say any more than that about the show. All of it was great except for that one wee bit that put a damper on things and is still swirling around in my head the following morning. Something that will probably stay in my head for ages now. Just another stick to beat myself with. Another lash on the ‘cat o’ nine tails’ that I continue to self-flagellate with.
You can listen to the middle hour of Billy’s show featuring the SM Down Under section by playing the audio below:
