I was reminded a few days ago that it will be Mr Kerr’s birthday in a month’s time. So…what do you get the man that…well, it might not be correct say “has everything”- but more accurate to assume “wants for nothing” or at the very least “wants for very little” – materialistically, if nothing else.
Nothing. Quite literally. He probably most likely wants me to leave him the fuck alone anyway. Which I will do. I have taken long enough to “get the hint“.
The past few years I have gifted him things. Perhaps in some token way he may have appreciated them. I’ll never know. It isn’t the reason I send them on.
I am usually also well on the case with the present-giving, thinking about what I might send him months prior, getting the gift to him in plenty of time. This year? Hadn’t given it a single thought!
Ah, but before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s not misconstrue this to mean I haven’t been thinking about Jim – because in all honesty, I have very little concept of what that feels like now. Let’s think of it as BK – Before Kerr-ist (to rhyme with Christ, obviously).
I have an appalling memory. So life before uber Simple Minds fandom (and therefore BK) seems a very far off land. What I remember of it most though is that I was very fat (as opposed to now being acceptably fat) and that every day felt like how lockdown feels now. Except I would have NEVER left the house. I at least do make sure that I do so a few times a week these days. And I DEFINITELY WOULD NOT have taken a seven mile walk to get some doughnuts. Oh…I’d have had the doughnuts, for sure! I was a fucking elephant! But you’d have been lucky to get me to walk 70 yards let alone SEVEN MILES.
But I digress…wildly! This isn’t about me! It’s about Jim. It’s always about Jim. Oh, yeah…that was it! That was my point. Not remembering a time when it WASN’T about Jim.
So…this year. Who is this gift of “sweet Fanny Adams” really for? Jim? Or me? That I will have to think on some.
