A really heavy conversation on the phone with my sister last night. Again, something that is better for me to say here rather than on FB (my nieces and nephews never visit here).
She told me of the times when I was a kid when she’d by laying in the bath…languishing in the water…looking at the shaving equipment of our brothers and…
I don’t need to elaborate further. “The only thing that would stop me, sis, was the worry you would find me. I didn’t care about David and Quince (our brothers). I didn’t care about mum. I would just think, ‘what if Loz found me? I can’t do that to her’.”
I NEED TO GET HOME! To my sis. To my mum.
A lot of my friends on FB are thinking this drive to go home is just all down to SM. I know I can be obsessive…but all this for one gig? No! A select few know. The others I am happy to think it’s this one-track mind. It’s a distraction. And…it’s not what FB is for, really, is it? To tell people, “Well, yes, to have my dream of seeing Simple Minds out in Oz would be grand, but a few days before the Newcastle gig was announced, my mum tried to commit suicide and my sister is at breaking point.” No…best to keep it as it is…with the distraction it is. Play my part…continue as the Court Jester. There’s not a lot else I am good at. And I feel almost purposeful in that role.
Until such time I am out there being a support to my sister and wishing that I had the magic wand to alleviate Miss Trouble (mum) from her years of pain.
And I won’t discuss it here any further, either. This is just one final post to say…the need to get home could not be any stronger.
