I know I shouldn’t say this. I shouldn’t share it here but…I WANT TO BE JAINE!
Just…something so innocuous as seeing a film with him. I just wish. And for a TARDIS. For it to be then…as much as I would still want it to be now.
I can see the imagery in my head.
I fear that I probably will, in all brutal honesty, dream the rest of my life away.
It is just…above all else…that chance for the luxury of time with him. A chance to be away from the music. For it to be apart from the music…although it could STILL be about the music…just not SM. At least, not a gig. Experiencing a different gig, maybe – with him being viewer/attendee rather than performer/frontman…a film…a meal…a binge viewing of a TV series…an art exhibition…a hike, even! I’d bloody climb a mountain for him. Lol. Yeah, I’d go “off hiking” with him…
Just, time to be. A scenario that isn’t rushed. A scenario that allows me to be speechless. Lol. Because there is time for silence…rather than I am rendered speechless because the time is so precious that it makes me lost for words because I have a ton of things I want to say, but can’t say them all, and my mind gets in a muddle and I am put into a stupor.
Time to be relaxed with him…instead of some heady, silly school girl. Oh…I know it will never be. Only in my dreams.
And so, while Aix-Les-Bains is less than three weeks away, and I get my next chance to be in his presence…I shall think of the words delivered by Bette Davis in Now Voyager.
