Fan AND Friend? In My Dreams!

Oh, how I wish I could straddle those first two descriptions, but I know I will only ever be steadfastly in the first. If I’m even in there. I might not be “real” enough to even fit that mould.
*sigh*

Probably why I never actually passed on good luck to the band in general (extended good luck and safe travels to some individual members), as I am feeling less and less “part of it”, the more I get…absorbed in it.

Never mind, eh?

Anyway. I’ll dream I’m at least in the first and have endless fantasies of being in the second…

Minds Music Monday – Boys From Brazil

They’re in rehearsals this week. The OH and I just talking over what we believe to be the usual scenario – Jim turns up to rehearsals on the final day.

“How are we doing?” asks Jim. “WE’RE doing great”, says Charlie. Then my dream wish kicks in…”Oh, by the way, we’ve added Boys From Brazil to the set list”, says Charlie.
“You what?”
“Yeah, we took a vote. It was unanimous. Enjoy your rehearsals, Jim. I’m off for a wee dram. See ya.”

IN MY DREAMS!

Lick My Oreos!

I shared this on the SMO visitor wall…but I am sure they’ll take the bloody thing down for heaven’s sake, even though I am just sharing it for a laugh and probably no SM fan would bid… but it’s good cause anyway. I would hope they won’t mind.

I couldn’t help but imagine the SM ladies and…a few men too…what we’d be like if Jim had done this. OMG!

WOOF! “Towel for Priptona!” Lol

IN MY DREAMS!

In Dreams We Are Helpless

I have been sleeping-in lately. Demanding dreams from my subconscious. Every night before I fall asleep, I pray that I’ll dream. Good dreams. Dreams that once awake and I have even just a fraction of lucidity of the dream, that it’ll turn to fruition.

This morning I had dreams.
In the first I was with Jim and Charlie. And we were sitting around, chatting and laughing. I cannot tell you how much I wish for that to be real! Or to continue to dream it over and over again every night.

B35D1A6F-2570-45A2-9550-4A8500B6AC60

The other is a VERY rare occurrence (dreams of Jim – with or without Charlie – are rare enough these days). My mum. I couldn’t tell you the last time I dreamed of her. But this one will haunt me.

It was loaded with metaphor and symbolism. I had been contacted by what appeared to be government authorities and/or health professionals. She was meant to be in care…but she wasn’t. She was on her own in this remote, desolate place completely unfamiliar to me.

She was roaming around outside. I’m not sure how I was seeing this as I was, but these people were showing me video footage of her. Like…CCTV footage…but this place was so remote. Maybe it was being recorded from a drone? I don’t know. Certain things in dreams make no sense.

I digress. She was roaming around outside. Working. Walking around finding weeds and rubbish. She was carrying some kind of tool. Not a light thing. And she look as she did when I left in 2016. Thinner than I have ever seen her in my entire life. When I went home in 2015…I hadn’t seen her for eight years and she had became a shell of herself. I had never, ever seen her so thin. I don’t think she had been that thin since she was a child. The shock of it stunned me for days. It took days for me to get my head around this woman who looked like my mum but was waaaaay thinner than my mum had ever been was indeed my mum!

I digress again. These two people – a man and a woman – showing me her on the monitor (I sensed I was watching live footage, or very recent recorded footage…mere hours old) were saying “She won’t rest. She’s doing too much. She just wanders and wanders.” And I am sitting there thinking “habit of a lifetime, guys. She’s been like this since time immemorial. All the years I have known her.”

Even in 2015/16. Up and down like a yo-yo. Endless retorts of frustration from me “PLEASE SIT DOWN! I’M HERE NOW. PLEASE LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU!” Over and over. Every day. A person too used to being alone. Too used to just having to get up and do it herself. No one else there.

I’m watching her on the screen…and she just looks lost. Really lost. I’d never seen her look lost before. Determined. Focussed. Busy. Pre-occupied. Happy, even. But never lost. Never confused. Never unsure. Somehow still happy though.

Happy. But tired. And lost.
I awoke feeling further away from her than ever.

Limbo is hell.

The Tees Tease

Dang! Okay, so it was a SFY shirt…and well, it isn’t looking too dissimilar in concept to the Grandslam Summer design, to be honest.

I know Stuart is the current designer. And he’s fabulous…oh, but to just DREAM of something like that! One break! One special one off. And not even for monetary gain or anything, but just to be able to say “Frigging wow! What an honour! The band I love are allowing me to design a shirt!” It would be unreal.

But there we are. That’s not how the world works.

Still, one could argue I’ve had my five minutes.

Damn! I hate when my green-eyed monster rears its ugly head. But, god…it would just be so amazing.

I always want more.

Boy On Film

I upgraded one of my art apps a few days ago. The previous Prip piece was done incorporating one of the new settings now available to me. Of course I start off a new piece tonight thinking I’d use more of the new things available to me.

Nope! Much like the muse I doggedly work with…I stuck to all the settings and options I had available to me for free.

I’m an old stick-in-the-mud! Lol

I cannot wait to get my own space for painting and drumming. My own little art studio. I’ll probably freeze to death, as I envisage this thing being a glorified shed down the back of a garden somewhere in the southside of Glasgow. Soundproofed, of course – to protect peoples’ ears from the drumming and the wails of frustration as I paint away.

I am definitely from the Howard Hodgkin philosophy of art (ie: art is pain and there’s nothing enjoyable about it). It sets off my depression BIG TIME – painting…but there’s a compulsion too. And I miss it.

And I will continue the digital art. Always. It’ll be a counterbalance. The digital art *IS* joy, and therapy. It is the thing I love. Esp. when I am working on Mr Muse. How can it not be? LOOK AT HIM! Like I need more excuses. Lol

We Passed Upon The Stair

I was feeling very tired still this morning, so I slept-in. While I slept the extra hour or so, I fell into a dream.

I was going to a gig. And I was seeing David Bowie. The venue from the outside looked quite grand. One of those ornate old style theatres, you know. The stairwell was kind of circular. Plushly carpeted. The stairs were short stepped, so they seem to go on forever. I must have gone up about 3 or 4 levels.

As I neared the top, there was David…just sitting at the top of the stairs, with an acoustic guitar and someone from the entourage. He was just softly strumming away. Just kind of musically noodling. He was softly chatting away with his mate and they were having a giggle.

I stopped in my tracks. Even still to this day and in my dreams I was awestruck and utterly gobsmacked to find myself in his presence. He looked at me with an expression that read, “Why be so awestruck? I’m just a bloke.” David…you were NEVER “just a bloke”. Lol.

I never came face to face with him like this in real life. I only ever saw him play live once, and I will be forever thankful of that.

Well, he smiles that amazing smile of his to me and I stand their on the steps listening to him strum away. The noodling now also includes some unintelligible vocal sounds.

Just behind me, over my left shoulder, something grabs my attention. Scurrying along and stopping just behind me is a tiny little mouse with the biggest ears. Very soon after, little mousey is joined by a friend. And they are both just stood there, looking at us looking at them. The three of us humans all smiling at each other over how cute these two mice are.

And then I wake up! Just like that.

A very surreal dream. And I awoke so happy, yet so sad that it was just a dream, and the dawning realisation that David is still gone and the only way I’ll ever experience anything like that ever again is in my dreams.

The dream just encapsulated everything that was David. Surreal, gentle and beautiful.