Just Muddling Through – Apologies For Yesterday

I was in quite a rant mode yesterday morning. But, hey, he’s right. Actually. Quite a bit – not totally. But yeah, no one IS the boss of him. He can do what the fuck he likes.

But something would be nice. But, hey ho. Whatevers.

The thing that is surprising me most with my own personal situation is that I haven’t descended into one of my really dark episodes – so far. But perhaps that outburst yesterday means it’s on the horizon?

All things considered – a house move (not just around the corner but 370 odd miles from the previous home…and everything else it entailed), loss of a parent, a trip to the other side of the world for a funeral of said parent, this Coronavirus lockdown thing….it’s been a goddamn turbulent 6 months! So, yes…I am AMAZED the Black Dog hasn’t been barking at my door more often than normal.

But I am on alert now, thinking of yesterday.

That last sentence. Yep. I feel I have spent my life just “muddling through” with varying degrees of “success”.

I’ll give myself a break before I end up crying in a corner…and I’ll do the same for you, Jim. I need to keep reminding myself that your grief is probably still as strong as mine, you just have to do a better and more professional job of hiding yours than I do mine.

Sorry, Sir. Love you ❤️

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