Seven Years – It Was All In That One Sentence…

That sentence being, “Well, I might make it a poster on my studio wall also!”. I can’t tell you what that sentence did to me!

Just waking up at my mum’s house and seeing the post and the way my heart pounded away. Silly really. It had been a long time since something had made me feel like that.

Of course, AGAIN, I had the dilemma of where to post this. I immediately thought of posting it on my other blog but then thought about the significance to this blog and its existence. Without something like this post from Jim happening, there probably would be no Priptona Weird blog. There certainly wouldn’t be all the overabundance of “art” that I continued to make (and still occasionally make – Christmas fun anyone? Lol) over the years if Jim had not responded to any of the stuff I produced.

There has been a lot that has happened in the seven years that have passed since that post. I’ve almost lost count the number of times I have met Jim since then – which is quite scary as it took almost another 18 months from that post until I met him the first time. Not to mention other band members, etc. More than that, the wonderful friendships made and the people who are in my life now. And latterly the university study and what a change to my life that has brought on.

I guess it was this aspect of it that I felt should go to the other blog – this feeling I have for Jim. On sharing the original post again on my Facebook feed I said that – “I don’t think he’ll [Jim] ever really understand what this one act did for me. I will love him all the rest of my days for it.” With two of these ??

I get sentimental and nostalgic and I know I shouldn’t. All this “onwards” stuff. I get it but equally I don’t want to feel guilty about things from the past having significance to me and a place in my heart. As long as I don’t LIVE in the past which I hope I don’t. I’m certainly trying not to! I love uni and all the fantastic things I am learning. That’s always moving forwards.

This morning I felt melancholic for a while. Reading Jim’s post about Alan Rankine’s passing and how many people that are his contemporaries are passing away – it really scares me. And as much as I am trying not to be so invested in it all and in my lingering feelings for him – I know if he left the earth before it’s his time I’d be utterly inconsolable. Even before this morning’s post. What he said in his New Year post about time moving faster than ever. It does just speed along. It’s so short! It’s scary. I just found myself this morning reassuring myself, thinking well if he lives at least as long as his mum but hopefully as long as his dad he’ll be here for years yet! But…we just never know. We never know!

Oh, it’s gone maudlin! That’s what I get for studying passages about love in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night and …. yeah.

I adore him and I’ll never stop. And this day seven years ago this one “Act of Love” had me fall in love with him.

I love you, Jim Kerr – and I’m a fool.

I’m sure it probably never made it to Taormina. I still have mine on my wall – signed, with what some believe to be kisses. Not me. I never saw it. I was never worth it. But at least the art was worth a post.