A Short Personal Note

The past few days have been quite a bit of a topsy turvy affair. I was hoping to do reviews of both The Stranglers and Stewart Copeland gigs that I went to over these past few days today.

One might be a little awkward to do too much of a review for, sadly. The other should be fairly full. Both I hope to post tomorrow.

Today I’ve been to the GP and received an initial diagnosis that is something I will just have to deal with. The GP thinks I have vasovagal syncope which is basically fainting due to sudden drops in heart rate or blood pressure. Nothing much else to be done for it, it seems. But I am booked in for a blood test and ECG at the surgery on Thursday morning. Nothing concrete about my diagnosis until these things are done and analysed.

I must admit that the notion that this is something like this, and there is not much else to be done, and I just have to deal with the psychosomatic effects of feeling the onset of it and just having to “ride it out” scares the frigging bejaysus out of me. It feels like what would happen to me through the worst of the whooping cough years ago…when I could feel my airwaves blocking up and my not being able to do anything about it and eventually pass out through lack of oxygen to the lungs.

To be conscious of it happening. To be alert to it, yet have to use my own recovery techniques to prevent a full attack is just so scary. Obviously I am failing miserably to override these factors. Quite how I actually stop my own heart rate dropping or my BP from falling I can’t quite fathom.

I am going to have to rethink certain things when it comes to gigs and stuff. Seated venues wherever possible. Most likely goodbye to the front row at the barrier at standing gigs. Yay!

Kids! Listen to me. Just…live life NOW. Don’t do what I did and live like a fucking hermit half your life and never go anywhere or do anything. Take it by the horns! Do all that you can. Do everything in your power to enjoy what you have and live life to the fullest.

Life is far too short. End of personal talk.

On with the blog as it stands tomorrow.

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