Not bad, huh? (see below)
It took a little while to get into it but as soon as I had the lesson with Cherisse, it lit the touch paper and got me hungry again.
She has me learning new stuff and at first it seems like I’ll just never get it. I try the beat and I have to keep reading the notes over and over and it never seems like it’ll go in and then all of a sudden…THERE IT IS!
Since Thursday I have been putting in solid practice. 45 mins to an hour a minimum of twice a day. Thrice on Saturday and Sunday.
And to answer your question, Scott? Yep. Today I got back into playing along to songs and being reminded just how LITTLE rhythm I have on the hi-hat. My hi-hat playing truly SUCKS FUCKING ARSE! Honestly. But I have to believe it’ll come. I CAN get rhythm! I HAVE rhythm!
On Sunday I was sitting at the kit and, when I fuck up, I look at those photos on the wall. I look at Jim and just think “I want to be better! I want to be able to play, for you. For myself foremost but…”
You know if there was ever a time (like it would happen!) , just for fun in which he said to me “play me something” – to think I could sit at the kit and just, play a little something. Even just 8 or 16 bars, and it sound like I can hold a note and have rhythm and just…sound okay. You know? Not…knock his socks off. I mean, fuck, that would be fab but it ain’t gonna happen in a month of Sundays! But if he just thought “not bad”. Didn’t laugh at me, or I thought I was shit and said “give up! Now!” Then I’d be happy.
Having those photos there inspires me. Spurs me on! I honestly thought they’d intimidate me (like he tends to do when I am standing near him – as much as I adore him, I kind of fear him too…because I feel an inept and stupid idiot in front of him – all the time – EVERY TIME) or, more predictably, DISTRACT me. But they honestly don’t. They drive me on. Motivate me to do better. To keep going.
I’d like to think he’d be there thinking “Come on, girl. You’ve got this!” when I constantly fuck up. Lol
Can’t help but think what I’d be like playing now had I been able to start learning when I was a kid like I wanted to,
Oh, well…never too late, eh?
