Anxiety Ascending

Assignment week. I don’t like it! I have absolutely NO CONFIDENCE whatsoever!

The assignment is in two parts. Both parts require a 600 word essay. I’ve written about 550 words of part one, with no real belief that I am doing what is required of me AT ALL. And for part two I have a miserly 100 words written.

I have until midday on March 1st to hand my assignment in, but I’d like to hand it in before that. The structure of the course is that assignment deadlines run into the first week of the next block of study. That would muddy the water for me. Trying to focus on writing out two essays on two different subjects, whilst simultaneously beginning to study the first subject in the next block, which is Mozart. The study week for Mozart looks very intensive. This week on is requiring more hours of study time than any of the other subjects towards our second TMA (Tutor Marked Assignment). So I would really like to get the first TMA completed first before moving on to Mozart.

I’m hoping I will have the assignment submitted by Sunday at the very latest, as I am also thinking that the earlier I submit the assignment, the sooner I will get my mark and the VITAL feedback it will give me.

Here’s the crux of it. Yesterday was awful. It was great in one respect! Hearing and seeing Simple Minds for the first time in…well, in an online performance sense, since December, 2020 – when Jim, Charlie and Cherisse did the performance for the Nordoff Robbins Christmas thingy. But that wasn’t a true live performance anyway. Not like yesterday. So, let’s say two years! Very nearly an entire two years anyway. Last time I saw them live was March 9th, 2020…not that I’m counting days or anything. And all that stuff…all the “Jim hates my guts” shit instantly returned. Them doing Alive And Kicking and me thinking of “Ba na na na” and pointing at my shirt and Jim looking at me like I am the biggest fucking idiot put on this earth. And then in two weeks putting myself in front of him. I want to boak just thinking about it! It means far too much to me. Far too much.

But I pushed that all aside for study yesterday. Hours of pouring over study notes and looking at the assignment and going through the guide notes and referring to the module.

And just as I am writing this out – and having posted that we were 13 days away from Paris…UNLUCKY FOR SOME…the European leg of the 40 Years Of Hits tour has been rescheduled and now Paris is on May 6th. Bugger and damnation!! Fuck, fuck, fuckety fuuuuuck!

Oh, well…

And this morning I had a dream….nightmare…of a MASSIVE five inch in diameter spider was crawling around the top of my head. I don’t know what the fuck that was representing but it scared the fuck out of me. I had to stay calm and still and not let the spider get stressed so it could be slowly coaxed from off my head.

Metaphors, eh?

I’ve lost my train of thought with this post, and it hardly matters. Best crack on with whatever the hell I can do with this. I might come back later and edit or expand here. We’ll see…

My Week So Far

Sunday – study good, but slightly doubtful.

Monday – study better, buoyant and full of optimism.

Tuesday – study free day. Went for a walk. Felt good. Attempted break-in of our home in the afternoon shook me up badly. Online uni tutorial last night was nerve-wracking but ended positively.

Wednesday – after effects of attempted break-in brought me down. Tutor room student quiz exercise and information “scavenger hunt” has me left me full of self-doubt and very low.

The week started out so well.

In Today’s ‘Life of a Uni Student’ Post…

This morning one of my study books arrived in the post. The Faber Book of Beasts. I had a quick look through the book just to make sure it was in a suitable condition for use.

But, wait up. What do my eyes spy as I take a cursory glance through it?

THIS!

I cannae believe it! I literally get to study Kerr’s Ass as part of my coursework! 😂😂😂

I’ve not stopped grinning since the book arrived an hour ago. Lol

I could study Kerr’s Ass ALL DAY LONG…if required.