Seeking Praise And Approval…The Desire For Validation.

It’s because Charlie knows you’re always learning. We’re all always learning. The person who doesn’t believe you are not always learning is the biggest fool of them all.

Surely Charlie’s, or even the rest of the band’s “added recognition” not being sought out is automatically gained by the crowd reception at gigs. It is why you guys do what you do too, right? The playing live element? Would you still be slogging away 40+ years later if no one turned up? If no crowds were there to give rousing receptions?

Yes, the ‘hard yards’ are done quietly, without fuss. Of course. But all the elements converge. You may not outwardly look to seek praise or recognition, but without some of it along the way, what other drive is there to keep going? Honestly?

Also within Jim’s latest post was a link to a podcast titled ‘It Takes What It Takes’ – it’s an episode of a series called The Daily Stoic – a compendium to daily email meditations from “DailyStoic.com”. I looked at all the rest of the episodes to see what subjects/topics were being looked at.

Obviously certain titles caught my eye, “You Have To Be Kind To Yourself”, and “Do It Because It’s Right. Not So They’ll Like You”. Yeah…that titled SCREAMED out at me! One – as one I need to employ, two – that this is definitely something Jim himself employs!

One can only assume the mister is subscribed both to the podcast and daily emails? He does seem to like to absorb aspects of philosophy, making passing references to things like The Art of War, Bhagavad Gita, and “Syd Arthur” (sorry, had to have a joke). And he recently quoted Marcus Aurelius in a post.

I can see myself taking a listen to some of these podcast episodes.

Desiderata – Max Ehrmann

The opening line to this was read out in a question on a TV quiz…and…it just struck me as sounding like the chorus to The Signal And The Noise. I had never heard of it before! It’s amazing how these things fall into place. It’s a wonderful piece of prose, and something we could all do with reading daily…either as we retire for the night to have with us fresh in the morning, or when the new day begins for us each morning.

I know Jim said recently he gained a strength and resolve from reading the Indian classic Bhagavad Gita. I started it….but unlike his previous mention of Siddhartha (of which I read and enjoyed and saw empowering positives from)….I found the former tougher going….and that was just through the description of it going through translation from German and into English…and, just the description of the book through those passages made me wary of it. Akin to why I have avoided Sun Tzu’s The Art Of War. I know many people get philosophical positives from these works….Gandhi – possibly the world’s most renowned pacifist, is said to have derived strength from reading Bhagavad Gita. How this can be befuddles me…but it’s said he saw it as an allegory. So, perhaps I will try to finish reading it – well, BEGIN…as I have not actually got to the passages of text in the book, yet.

But, I do have to say that, for now, this passage of prose from Desiderata – esp. that first sentence of it, as read out in the quiz question, really threw me for six and got me looking into it. I think this is much more a mantra I could live by. Perhaps as it is not overly complex in its language, but simple, short and succinct.

I would love to ask Jim whether he knows it or is familiar with it…but I have posted to the SMO visitor wall a couple of times already, so I best not. Perhaps for a future time…

Click HERE to read the Wikipedia entry on Desiderata.

Siddhartha – The Message?

Finished it about a week ago now and…well…I’m finding it hard to take much of a message from it. Siddhartha himself seemed to think that those Brahman who followed the Buddha were almost…enslaved…not free-thinking, would never find their own level of peace and happiness as they were followers, and not travelling their own path. 

Maybe I misinterpreted aspects of the book? I shall read it again. As for what happened when he met Kamala? I could well get it. Having pretty much denied myself “the sins of the flesh” for nearly a quarter of a century (having felt that love and sex are different…and they are, definitely…one can exist without the other. One part just fills a physiological aspect, well…so one can convince oneself anyway – because…as a woman, and in my own personal experience, there is an emotional element to sex. And so, as much as I can detach the two elements…they can also be interconnected and interchangable), I could imagine myself very much succumbing to a similar part of the journey Siddhartha took. Except…I wouldn’t. Because I “freak out”. I would never have the…assuredness, the bravado that both Siddartha and Kamala expressed. Maybe when I was younger. But not now. Too much time has passed. And instead of maturing and becoming MORE sure of myself with age…I am less sure, less confident. 

When temptation is put in front of me…I run. I resist it. Shy away from it. My life in that respect feels the opposite of our protagonist. I’ve spent half my life removed from “the sins of the flesh” and I have grown bored of it…much like Siddhartha had grown bored of being self-centred, materialistic and lustful. I am bored of being “virtuous” but….I am too fearful to do anything about it. Well, there we go. Princess Overshare strikes again.

I need to find a pupose to life. A *REAL* purpose. I’ve deluded myself for 18 months that I’ve had one…and on the days I didn’t feel like I had, I was happy to *exist*…because…THERE IS NO FUCKING PURPOSE TO LIFE but to just…exist.

I think I’m heading “back to black”. I really, really don’t want to go there again. The last time I got through it because I think I just grew tired of over-thinking, over-analysing…trying to find something TRULY unobtainable.

I wish I could escape myself.