Sir Has Resurfaced

For fear of looking like the most pathetic, sycophantic fangirl this side of the Clyde, I am going to express here just how happy I am to see this evening’s looooooooong overdue post…because HERE I *am* a sycophantic fangirl.

My blog, my rules! If people roll theirs eyes reading this here, they can frankly keep rolling them until they pop out. I make NO apologies for how I am here.

Welcome back, you beautiful man! You have been missed!

(Okay….yeah, I’m even sickening myself now! Lol)

A Walkman?

I never had one. Not a genuine Sony Walkman anyway. And when I finally got a generic “portable cassette player” I just used it at home, for listening to music on the quiet.

I never really went anywhere much. There was no need for me to want to listen to music “on the go”. Where the hell was I going? I never went anywhere! And for me, music was a private listening experience to be enjoyed at home, not while travelling out and about. Music getting polluted by external noises. Traffic, people talking, dogs barking. All noise and chaos disturbing the music.

And I hated the sound of cassettes. I much preferred vinyl. And playing music LOUD!

I was that lonely teen girl. No friends. No boyfriend. When I got my own music equipment, it was hi-fi equipment for my bedroom.

So, Jim talks about listening to Autobahn on German freeways and hearing “Heroes” by the Berlin Wall. Well I was in my bedroom, going nowhere, listening to Low. “You’re just a little girl with grey eyes…deep in your room / you never leave your room”.

History is beginning to repeat itself. No passport. No money…guess where I am right now?

But the thing that allowed me to travel. My escape…was the music itself. I might have been in my bedroom listening…but in a way, I was in Berlin too. At Hansa Studios, eavesdropping in on Bowie and Iggy singing What In The World.

I could travel anywhere from the comfort of my bedroom just using my ears and my imagination…

The Icing On The Cake…

Oh, but I am still missing the “cherry on top” – the reply comments. I miss that element. It feels like a positive reinforcement when it happens. When it stops or doesn’t happen for a while I tend to think “Oh, he’s as sick of me as everyone else is! Lol.” And then I tend to take it personally, because I am a needy, clingy idiot. (Just being an honest, gov)

This springs to mind…

Though perhaps this is more appropriate?

Pondering on the idea of what kind of person I am….lips wise? You know…bizarrely – my lips have only ever been the only part of my body of I have been…”proud” of? If I can phrase it that way. The only part of my body I thought was any good, anyway. Do I overuse them? I guess, maybe. I dunno. I’m probably a self-centred blow hard. I’m sure I come across as loving the sound of my own voice!

A negative result of me wanting to express positivity and enthusiasm, no doubt. Bore people fucking shitless. Lol. The thing is…I feel much more expressive with the written word. Face to face, I tend to clam up.

The last time I was out in Oz and at a family gathering at my sister’s house…after a while she said to me, “God, you’re so quiet! Why aren’t you talking?” I was kind of taken aback that it seemed strange to her that I was so quiet. Was I really that much of a gobby kid? Perhaps I was at home.

My response to her? “I dunno. It’s just how I am. I’m just happy being here and just being with you guys.” And that really was it. I didn’t have much to say. Nothing really to input or discuss and was just happy to be with my family. It had been a long time at that point. Some eight years since my previous trip home.

Anyway…there we go. Time to shut up! I wouldn’t have mentioned any of this talking to anybody face to face.

What type of person am I? One who tries to have a positive outlook (but with recurring bouts of mental illness, it’s not always easy) and tries to have a positive effect on those around her. I just try to be the best I can be…and I probably do woefully at it.

But, I am who I am…warts and all. My foibles are many, but I hope I am a good person…even if I send everyone crazy.

Off Topic? Kerr Birthday Options…

Hmmm. It would appear I overstepped the boundaries in what is deemed “off topic” or perhaps “advertising” on SMO FB.

In my defence – one: it was very much ON TOPIC as far as I was concerned, for I was merely theorising what Jim may do to celebrate his 60th birthday this July.

Secondly – I don’t advertise anything. Nothing on my blog is monetise and I don’t have advertising here. Perhaps I should have obscured or cropped out the ticket buying info of the screengrab of the Van Morrison gig I was referring to that he could go to for his birthday. But I would have thought it obvious that I was not intending to advertise anything.

I mean, yeah, Van’s giving me kickbacks. Geez! *rolls eyes*

Anyway…I shall discuss my non-endorsement, non-kickback, non-advertisement SUGGESTION of what Jim may be able to do to celebrate his birthday.

The Who play Wembley Stadium on July 6th – there’s one SUGGESTION…
Van Morrison plays The Roundhouse in London on July 6th & 7th – there’s another SUGGESTION…

Jim could indeed enjoy BOTH shows that weekend. Or indeed (as I alternatively SUGGESTED), Simple Minds could throw a gig around that time and we as fans could celebrate his birthday with him…unlikely as that option will be.

Anyway…no matter what he decides to do for his birthday, I hope he celebrates it well, and has many more to come.

Sorry to go “off topic” SMO FB. Heaven forbid someone should talk about music on a music page (albeit a specific band page…can we not talk about their influences? Did Jim not talk of Van Morrison within his most recent post?).

Flickr-ing Memories

I’m starting to go through the process of tidying up my Flickr account. With something like 20,000 photos in there, it is getting to be quite a trawl looking through them for a specific photo.

Yesterday I started with a folder of all the black and white SM pics up to 1984, today I started a folder of all the interactivity with Jim (either myself, or with other fans) that I’ve screengrabbed from FB.

My own interactivity with Jim started much earlier than I thought. This is from Friday, 13th (an omen!) March, 2015. Well over three and a half years ago! I don’t know why but in my head I didn’t feel the interactivity really kicked off with him until after I started sharing the art…but it actually was happening before that.

Aawww! It made me all warm and fuzzy inside! Lol! Look at him telling me to “calm down”! Little did he know. Little did he know…

Not long now before I can ask him again. Lol

Thank you, Sir. I treasure them all. Every single one ❤️😊

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Oh, And A Lovely Thing Happened This Morning

Totally unexpected and out of the blue…
(PS: Didn’t mean to cut all that positive feedback off…but it was the only way I could fit the inclusion of my pic in there, leaving the post as it appeared on the SMO timeline as so.)

February 14th, 2017, was the last time this happened…so, yep, it really was unexpected, but so wonderful. Thank you ❤️

And…as soon as I used the term “out of the blue”…this started playing…

Ours Is Not To Question Why…

And I never would. I never did. I asked what I knew was a rather rhetorical question. Trying to be light-hearted and upbeat for something that actually made me feel rather forlorn, but I never asked why it was. I was pretending to ask for clarity on something that was all too clear.

I would never ask why. He doesn’t have to explain his reasons to me. And although slightly upset by the reply…at least he wasn’t mincing his words, or about to promise something that would never happen. If it’s never to be, then it is never to be. That’s okay. There is always going to be a percentage of songs that will never be performed live by any artist.

I admit to listening to it shortly after, and it have me crying for the first time in quite a while. Perhaps because I felt that, within that monosylabic reply, I had stirred something? Or…perhaps not. I’m sure it is as straighforward as…it was tried once, it’s hard to replicate live. End of. Or…he feels it is “of its time”, perhaps? I am only left to ponder, and that is okay.

It’s the antithesis of my “open book” policy. My explanation of the song’s effect and emotional pull on me is rather detailed (and could have been so much longer in explanation, had I not stopped my rather long-winded tangent).

All’s I know is, it will mean the absolute world to me until I exhale my final breath. If we’re all meant to have our funeral song picked out…this will no doubt be mine. (Unless I decide to wake up the congregation with Boys From Brazil? Hmmm…perhaps not!)

And, as monosylabic as his response was to me, he had the good nature to reply…even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. Honesty will always be the best policy.

WHY I LOVE…WONDERFUL IN YOUNG LIFE (click to read)

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