May contain a heavy dose of Jim Kerr
I am anxious, rushed, rambling, questioning – my usual scary, fucked up hot mess – but I needed to purge (and perhaps vent?) a little on the book. The first 99 pages anyway. IT’S NOT A REVIEW – it’s just my own feelings and thoughts.
I don’t know what this is any more. I obviously want it to be more than it is. More than it can be. I’m too emotionally invested in this thing. I have been for years now. And I have been too frightened to cut the ties completely. Still praying to be liked. Still praying for…
Oh, man. It stings again. I don’t ever remember feeling this way before – or at least not for a very long time. A discussion of friends in his latest post and … it just has me wishing again. To be one. DEEMED one. (A friend.) You know…the more you want something. Lol There are…
I feel as if I have antagonised him in the past few days – inadvertantly. Today I kept quiet. Today I would have loved to have said a million things. At least several things – or just one thing. My usual thing I say on this day each year…”love to your mum”. But, there are…
And that’s the only bit you got right! The rest of it? Complete and utter horse twaddle! “You are strong and can bear the burden on your shoulders”. Oh, really? I’m as strong as a kitten in a hurricane! “You’re an admirable woman who has everything under control.” Sure! What I have “under control” is…