I’m still wondering why it even matters to me these days, but it still does. Jim’s post today. It had that usual “ruthless” element to it that makes me uncomfortable. It has always been an element that doesn’t sit well with me in the psyche of Jim Kerr. Today’s post seems to make the allusion that no one ever made the decision to leave Simple Minds through “lack of enthusiasm” because it was detected by him first, and people were pushed before they fell, so to speak. Sacked before quitting, kinda thing.
Except…that didn’t really seem to be the case with Brian when he left. And…he left. Same case with Mick. Mick left, rather abruptly, by all accounts. I guess the point Jim was making in the post was…he was never going to go begging for them to stay. They left. Move on. No one’s irreplaceable, right? It all seems so callous. And it always runs in paradox to the endless talk of “loyalty” and “life-long fans” and “real fans” and all of that stuff.
Where does one maintain loyalty if it is deemed that EVERYONE is expendable?
Is it all just down to wanting to live a life in which you can declare that you have never regretted a single decision? What…? I’ll admit to finding reading these kinds of posts quite hard.
He ended the post by stating, “I never ever wanted to leave the field.” Really? So what happened that led to the building of Villa Angela? Why is there now the ‘fallback’ that is now pretty much surplus to requirements (in the strictest terms of VA initially coming into existence as ‘Plan B’)? Does she not stand by Mount Etna as a stark reminder of that crisis of confidence he has admitted to having in the past? Did I take in these details he’s shared incorrectly? That Simple Minds sailed VERY CLOSE to being ‘no more’? Because, seemingly, had Jim called it quits – that would be it. No more Simple Minds. Bad luck, Charlie boy!
And… we delude ourselves that Simple Minds is Jim AND Charlie…hmmm.
And, so, yes. I am still quite ‘invested’. But there was such a reciprocation I felt with it for such a long time that has now all but faded away. A rather slow and – although he would see my expression here as over-dramatic – agonising death. I never wanted it to die. I think it still is breathing final death strains… I don’t know? I feel as if I was pushed before I had the chance to fall. I’m not sure I wanted to fall, you know? I was not pushed with a hard hand…but gently nudged, edging ever closer to the cliff edge. But the final push was still a shock. “And my brother lays upon the rocks / he could be dead / he could be not / he could be you.”
He was never going to hold out a hand after he pushed me to stop me from falling. Once that slap on the back happens it’s “game over, kid.” I reached out and up as I fell, hoping to be caught. That “kid called hope, holding out his hand” wasn’t there.
What am I talking about? Fuck knows!
I still keep on wanting for it to be something! I don’t want to be left laying upon the rocks. Do I survive? Do I move on? Do I want to?
P.S. I’m still convinced the line he sings in Promised You A Miracle is “rhythm of life” not “in the game of life.” Listen closely and prove me wrong! (A fan’s a fan’s a fan…)
