Missing Inaction?

A deliberate ‘typo’ on my part, that title…

Most fans are talking about dates and wanting news…or if they’re not, they’re going on about how they miss how the band “really were”… “back then” when they (the fans, that is) were teens. Some are reminiscing about Street Fighting Years, which is all well and good too. We are all looking for ways to occupy ourselves in these uncertain times.

But…the thing I miss…the thing I crave? JIM INTERACTING WITH US!

Maybe there is a cycle or a pattern that…because I am a relative “babe” in terms of Simple Minds fandom, I have yet to see, witness or experience? We’ve pretty much had an online presence and rapport (I say ‘we’ve’ to imply SM fans in general) with the band for 20 years now.

And I fully appreciate that this makes me sound like one of those “when the band were REALLY good” hark-back-to-days-gone-by types. But it just used to feel – until very recently – that he actually LIKED to interact with us. It didn’t come across as a burden or an obligation, or part of the “keep ‘em sweet” machinations of management or some such. He appeared genuinely keen to interact.

Perhaps we have bored him? Or we no longer serve a purpose?

He did give full warning of his intentions in that “my lips are sealed” post on SMO back in June last year. Well, not so much of intent to stop as such, but it was a telling thing that it was all about the social interactivity and his posting on social media.

And what about these posts that I’ve published so regularly over the years. Why do it? What is the point, if any, outside of promoting, and informing the ongoing actions of SM? And will I continue to do so as frequently in future? I’m not sure what the answer to all of that is?

Jim Kerr on Simple Minds Official Facebook page, June 21st, 2019

I dunno. I have nothing else to say. The posts are there…you know. They still happen. But not as much as before. But…the thing that remains missing, the thing that is gone is him responding to us. Replying with retorts and quips and fun little things. And sometimes with a nice meaty reply, responding to a question someone had asked, etc. And he’d give a wonderfully detailed response sometimes. And those would be amazing.

That was one thing I was really looking forward to with the Soundcheck in Copenhagen. There was meant to be a Q and A as well in which you could put forward questions. And yes! I put a question forward and if you know me at all, you’ll be able to guess it (and no, it was NOT “Jim, will you marry/shag me”! Lol. For I already know the definitive answer to that one!). Again, I am not overly upset or downhearted about that. I am just so thankful for seeing those two shows.

Am I upset about missing other shows this year? To a degree. But I understand the circumstances. I appreciate what’s going on and I think it is right that we should curb the mass gatherings for now to try and stem the rate of infection around the world.

But the thing I miss…the one thing I miss and long for above all else right now is…feeling like I…we…could talk to Jim. And already in the safest way possible…online…no passing on any germs. That…rapport…there was a reciprocation that was implied and felt. And because it is gone it feels like he just…hates me. And so I keep questioning it. “What the hell did I do to upset him?” I just end up projecting it all inwardly. Like it’s all my fault that all this interactivity seems to have died down and gone away.

Perhaps all that is needed is time?

Still Missing “The Auld Days”…

I still read the comments that everyone leaves. This one I did not dare respond to because my response would have been – “You should have seen how it USED to be!” But not even I was around for the very best days, it seems. But I loved it how it was. How much involvement there was.

Okay, Jim has not completely gone away, bit it isn’t like it was. But then that’s just me loving that extra special thing that SMO used to give.

Anyway, I’ll shut up now! It’s still wonderful…but I still mourn for halcyon days. Every day.

Does Everyone Stare

This played on the radio yesterday. I was stunned to hear someone play it. It is a favourite Police song. And a Stewart Copeland penned composition.

But whenever I hear it, it just reminds of how I am with a certain Mr Kerr. Just the whole awkward damn thing. Just…adoring someone and feeling like the most inept, inadequate, stupid human being on the planet in front of them.

That is me every time I’m around him. And even when I’m nowhere near him…

It Was Just A Silly Joke

Not meant to be taken seriously.

Let me explain.

As I was travelling back home to the UK I posted to the SMO FB visitor wall about having Jim greet me at Glasgow Airport.

I can’t remember what I wrote exactly. I was on the plane at the time and hadn’t slept for some time so I can’t recall exactly how I worded it. But I had joked in the comments of a post written a few days before about him greeting me at the airport.

This post to the visitor wall was a “reminder” – you know “tomorrow, 3pm, be there or be square” kind of thing. Just a silly thing. Light hearted.

So why was it deleted? Who got offended by it? Was it the mention of a certain Glasgow doughnut shop? I don’t work on commission for them!!! Simple Minds have no trouble with me mentioning the band everywhere else… or running this blog as a massive advert for them.

I know I am being oversensitive worrying about why it was removed but I just get miffed about this crap.

It was just starting to feel nice again. Jim was starting to post a bit more and those months of feeling persona non grata were going away… and now this!?

I dunno. Why do I bother?

As petty as a post like that is… you just do it for a bit of fun. When it gets deleted, it feels like a kick in the guts. Like, “Oh FFS, what have I done wrong now?!” Are you just trying to tell me to fuck off? Well… just tell me to fuck off then.

Meh. Never mind, eh?

Let’s just count the days until Copenhagen and delude myself he still likes me. If he ever did.

Sign O’ The Times…

Okay. I know it’s Christmas and Sir has got to have his family time. And I know the tour needs to be pushed. But!!

FUCKING HELL – I MISS HIM! I miss how Simple Minds Official was.

What’s happened? Why has he stepped away from it so much? I thought it was because of his Da – and that I (obviously) understood. But I’m starting to think it wasn’t so much about his Da at all.

I dunno.

It’s a sad indictment on me if I miss him this much, I guess. Considering I just lost my mum and I’m worried about bloody Jim flipping Kerr!

Shit… says a lot about me, doesn’t it?

It feels like both ends of that beautiful tie is gone.

Four years ago when I was in Oz, I felt like I had both mum AND Jim. My time with mum was precious and Jim made it more special.

And now… both feel gone 😔😔😔

Well… mum is absolutely gone. And I can’t shake this feeling while being here of “When are we going to see mum? It’s been great staying at Gwenda’s, but can we go and stay with mum now? Aren’t we going to visit her?”

There was an open coffin at the funeral. I saw her there… laying in state! My mind refuses to accept it. There is a void. I miss her. So much! But I have hardly shed a tear. There’s a detachment from not being here in the final days before she passed. And so I am missing her and can’t grieve properly. It’s kind of awful.

A strange limbo…

Jim is linked to my final memories of mum… and I miss him.

I just miss how SMO used to be. Not so much corporate whoring. A human touch. And Jim very much at the centre of it.

I miss you so much, Jim, because I miss my mum.

Anyway… we better get our tour tickets. Well, I have 11 now. That’s more than enough.

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