The Bad Patch

I wanted to apologise for today’s earlier post. I wasn’t sure I was going to write it out well. I had all kinds of things swimming around in my head.

I decided to make a video and…as uncomfortable as it was, I felt I got my point across succinctly. The video was just over 15 minutes long – and yet despite that, I have tried unsuccessfully several times to upload it. I even tried splitting it in half in an attempt to get it to upload successfully.

It will take HOURS for it upload. And I can’t get the blog to upload it directly either. It just fails.

I am so disheartened and pissed off right now!

All I wanted to do was apologise to Jim. Try to explain, once again, why…just…why it all means so much. As if he comes here. And if he does, well…I doubt he’s going to bother any more.

So…the lesson learned… IT JUST DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER ANY MORE. I am fighting to get over it. I really am. To just…move on.

Sorry, Jim. I make demands. I throw tantrums. I adore you like no other. I want you to care, but I can’t force you to.

Maybe the video will upload successfully tomorrow? I don’t know. I’ll try it again and see.

I feel like a fail at everything.

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