And I never would. I never did. I asked what I knew was a rather rhetorical question. Trying to be light-hearted and upbeat for something that actually made me feel rather forlorn, but I never asked why it was. I was pretending to ask for clarity on something that was all too clear.
I would never ask why. He doesn’t have to explain his reasons to me. And although slightly upset by the reply…at least he wasn’t mincing his words, or about to promise something that would never happen. If it’s never to be, then it is never to be. That’s okay. There is always going to be a percentage of songs that will never be performed live by any artist.
I admit to listening to it shortly after, and it have me crying for the first time in quite a while. Perhaps because I felt that, within that monosylabic reply, I had stirred something? Or…perhaps not. I’m sure it is as straighforward as…it was tried once, it’s hard to replicate live. End of. Or…he feels it is “of its time”, perhaps? I am only left to ponder, and that is okay.
It’s the antithesis of my “open book” policy. My explanation of the song’s effect and emotional pull on me is rather detailed (and could have been so much longer in explanation, had I not stopped my rather long-winded tangent).
All’s I know is, it will mean the absolute world to me until I exhale my final breath. If we’re all meant to have our funeral song picked out…this will no doubt be mine. (Unless I decide to wake up the congregation with Boys From Brazil? Hmmm…perhaps not!)
And, as monosylabic as his response was to me, he had the good nature to reply…even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. Honesty will always be the best policy.