Sense Of Doubt

Pondering the whole “art” thing today. And still pondering on this! There are elements of it I really like. It’s not “photographic likeness” portraiture – I seriously doubt I will EVER get there, but that’s ok.

I’m at the point where I almost want to show him…but…I know I’m not thick skinned enough. If I got ANY sense it was not liked or he was insulted by it. Well. I mean, it’s not about “oh, you don’t like it”. It would be more about a confirmation of my doubts about it. Like “Oh, see! I knew it was shit. What was I *thinking* even showing him?” But if I had a positive feel and comment? I’d be dismissive. “He’s just being kind.” Maybe that is what it has always only ever been?

Why can I not be like other people? Full of self-belief, positivity, drive? Deluded?! Lol. Because, let’s face it, some are. But they just get on. That drive, ambition, self-belief….delusion (in some cases) somehow makes it work.

Oh, I’m rambling. I’m always rambling.
I’m not looking for reassurance from anyone, really, but myself.

Leave a comment